Wildflower Holistic Services - Principal Psychologist Alexandra McCarthy

Nuanced anxiety symptoms to look out for in your child 

Who hasn’t felt that knot of fear, worry, or anxiety at some point in their life? Anxiety is a normal reaction to stress, and is closely linked with fear. Fear is our response to immediate danger, whilst anxiety kicks in when we’re dealing with uncertain threats.

Think of anxiety as part of our built-in threat detection system, centred in a region of our brain called the Amygdala. This tiny but powerful structure is like our brain's alarm bell, sounding the alarm for fight or flight when it senses danger. When the alarm is triggered, it sets off a chain reaction involving the hypothalamus, which then activates our body's stress response. That's when we start feeling those familiar physical symptoms like a racing heart, sweaty palms, and heightened blood pressure - all signs that our body is gearing up for action. For instance, imagine strolling through a park and suddenly spotting a tiger. Your brain instantly recognises the danger and signals the amygdala to prepare for escape. This saves your life as you run from the tiger. Thankfully, our rational brain, controlled by the prefrontal cortex, often steps in to reassure us that we're safe - for example if the tiger was in a cage, our prefrontal cortex steps in and says “Hey, the tiger is in a cage, and you are at the zoo, it’s safe” - and calms down the amygdala.

However, in the case of anxiety, our prefrontal cortex often forgets to step in to reassure us that we are safe. Instead, it leads us to fret endlessly about the future and our safety. When this response becomes overwhelming and persistent, it can interfere with our daily lives, impacting things like school and work. The good news is that our brains are incredibly adaptable. We can actually rewire neural pathways (known as neuroplasticity), toning down the exaggerated anxiety response over time. Essentially, it's like recalibrating an overactive threat detection system.

The experience of anxiety isn’t always as obvious as we might think. There are the typical signs and symptoms, which are more familiar and obvious - racing thoughts, sweaty palms, etc. However, anxiety can manifest in subtle ways that we might not immediately associate with anxiety. 

Imagine your child gearing up for an award ceremony where they are required to go up on stage to receive an award. The typical symptoms of anxiety may include physical symptoms like racing heart, and sweaty palms.  Your child may have anxious thoughts reflecting their fear of embarrassment or humiliation - their inner dialogue filled with “what if’s” “what if I trip on stage?” and “What if everyone laughs at me?”. These types of symptoms seem to be more commonly recognised. 

But anxiety manifests in more subtle ways that might not immediately stand out - withdrawing or avoiding the event, reluctance to join similar events in the future. They may become irritable, struggle to focus, feel tired, have difficulty eating, or find it hard to sleep before the award ceremony. And then there’s the urge for continual reassurance. To help calm their anxiety, your kid may seek reassurance by asking lots of questions or the same question over and over, seeking confirmation that everything will be okay.  “Are you sure I won’t trip over?” “Are you sure?” - it's an attempt to calm the fear and uncertainty that comes with anxiety.

Headaches and stomach aches are another nuance of anxiety in kids - they might not realise these are physical manifestations of their anxiety. Behaviourally, they may become more rigid, and prone to tantrums or anger when faced with changes to their routine. The unpredictability of change can create a sense of danger, as what they thought was going to happen is no longer the case. 

Anxiety in children is complex, with both obvious and subtle signs - so it’s important to look out for the not-so-obvious cues that something is not right.